Skippy shows its paws
As new legislation went before parliament
Its legislators abstained
From sexual innuendos
And bullying the opposition.
They rubbed oil on each others bodies
Slept together head to toe
Confessed their secret desires
And drank only mineral water.
That evening, the doors were locked because the legislators feared the Australian people. Skippy hopped in, stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” After Skippy had said this, it showed them its paws. Then the legislators were glad when they saw Skippy. Then it said to them, “Receive me Skippy the Bush Kangaroo and the Australian people will be happy.”
Getting to know the unknown
It is enough to know
That danger like belief
Is as real as imagined,
And neither perspective
Can be distinguished
Because fear of the unknown
Is as troublesome
As the source of a cold wind.
The wind blows to the south and goes around to the north; around and around goes the wind, and on its circuits the wind returns. All streams run to the sea, but the sea is not full; to the place where the streams flow, there they flow again. And of the unknown much will be required, and from the unknown there will be demanded more.
Worthy of jest
There was an infallible holy priest
Who had a huge abscess on his lip,
And surely he would have died
Had not a court jester told him a joke
About a man who died on a cross
Whose death cleansed the world’s sins
And how he will return to earth
And do it a second time.
Therefore ladies and gentlemen, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of jest, think about all these things.
Sticks and stones
To gain victory
Some football teams
Do not refer to their rivals by name,
As Tree Trunks
Or Jumping Frogs
Or Walking Canes
Or Waddling Ducks in a Row.
For though they try to free themselves from loss, they have made themselves servants to name-calling, just so that they might win more matches. And they go outside the laws of the game that they might win against those strong at the game. To the stronger teams they become weak, so that they might win against the strong by name-calling.
The dandruff which fell to Earth
An old man was refused entry to heaven
Even though he had all his hair with him
Retained from his long life
Since death must leave nothing behind,
And when he asked why
The gate angel then said
He had to count them all first
That he be judged correctly.
Further he was told that he shall not pollute heaven, for dandruff pollutes the atmosphere, and no atonement is made for polluting heaven unless by the dandruff of the one God who sheds it. He defiled the land from which he came, and he must dwell in Purgatory for awhile.
Delivered unto evil
There was once a game hunter
Who killed a cub bear for extra fun,
And his bloodlust was such
That he drank the bear’s blood.
Then the bear’s spirit entered him
And he became a bear in the woods
Too frightened to move anywhere
For fear he would be shot.
The fear in him and the dread in him shall be of every predator on the earth and of every parent on earth, of everything that creeps on the ground and all the birds in the air. Into their hands the hunter shall be delivered.