Phlegm Boy takes down a School Bully

I want to tell you about a school friend of mine. I don’t know his name, and I don’t know what he looks like but he is my new best friend. I want to tell you about what he did for me, but let me tell you about me first. My name is Groombridge Grant. My school friends call me ‘bridgy’. I’m fourteen and I like maths and natural science. I’m always in my family’s back yard looking for insects and grubs and butterflies so I can watch them. My mum and dad and my sister always ask me what I’ve found. I like to show them but then I like to let them go because they belong out there, not in some glass cage or in a plastic container. Mt dad works in a big bank and mum sometimes works at my school. My sister is older than me and she goes to uni. There’s not much else to tell about me except I’m coming out and saying that I’m gay. There’s a boy I like at school. His name is Brogan. Sometimes when we sit close eating our lunches, our legs touch and I feel funny inside. Brogan doesn’t say much but sometimes he goes red in the face.

I’m a bit chubby and I run funny. Somebody said I looked like the chubby kid in Lord of the Flies that was on TV awhile ago.

There’s one kid I hate. His name is Andrew Broderick. He’s a bully and he’s always pushing me around, trying to get me angry or something. He always does this with some other kids standing behind him. Makes him look tough.

I was sitting with some kids and next to Brogan when Broderick saw me. He comes up to me and start yelling ‘Fag. Groombridge is a fag, a dirty fat rotten little fag and I’m gonna bash you fag. I knew you was a fag. My dad hates fags. I tell him I watch out for fags, and my dad says that’s good, because god hates fags and fags should go to hell, and they shouldn’t be soldiers or anybody because fags don’t do it right, and I’m gonna bash you fag’. And by this time he was right in my face. Brogan and the other kids were looking at me.

I didn’t know what to do. I just sat there and froze while Broderick was yelling at me. There were kids behind him yelling too. I couldn’t see any teachers. The kids who were sitting next to me were all gone. I’ve never seen Broderick punch anyone but he’s got a reputation. He’s bigger than me and his face looks like those angry looking TV people who go on about things they don’t like.

Broderick starts laying into me, throwing punches at my head and arms and he’s yelling something like ‘I’m doing this for me dad, he’ll be proud of me when I tell him I’m punching into fags like he does, and telling them they gotta be makin’ an effort to do what it says in the bible and lie with woman and procreate, and make kids like me’ then I’m on the ground and he’s kicking me and the other kids are yelling and I think I’m about to faint and there’s blood on my school shirt.

Then I hear ‘Leave that kid alone’ in a loud kid’s voice behind us. I look up and there’s this kid covered in some kind of green garbage bag and he’s wearing a baseball cap back to front, and a handkerchief with holes cut out for eyes and tucked underneath the cap covering his face. ‘Leave the kid alone’ he yells again.

Broderick stops kicking me and turns around to look at this strange looking kid. He looks like some kind of backyard superhero. Broderick starts laughing at him and so do the other kids. ‘Oh yeah, says who?’

‘Leave the kid alone and rack off!’

‘C’mon super trash make me’ and he turns around and starts kicking into me again. Then a strange sound started up from this kid. He began coughing but his chest sounded like it was full of something slopping around. Broderick was still laying into me while this other kid kept making this noise. Then he yells again for Broderick to leave me alone and Broderick turns around and goes toward this kid, then all of a sudden this horrible green and yellow sticky stuff comes out of this kid’s mouth and onto Broderick. It looks like the stuff I bring up when I’ve got a chest cold.  This kid was kind of coughing, kind of hawking, and landing the stuff on Broderick. It was disgusting.

Broderick started screaming and he falls over and starts rolling on the ground like he was being overwhelmed by green slime that was alive and was suffocating him. He was just screaming and the other kids looked on in horror while this other kid kept vomiting this green sludge over Broderick screaming on the ground.

I got up off the ground and starting walking away checking my wounds when a teacher came over and saw what was going on. Broderick was still screaming and I was looking for this kid in the green garbage bag but he was gone.

The teacher asked if I was OK. I said I wasn’t sure and so I went with him to the school nurse. The teacher says serves Broderick right and I asked him who was that disgusting kid who saved me from Broderick and he said; ‘That son, was Phlegm Boy’.

I got cleaned up and then I went to class. Broderick was nowhere to be seen and I had already decided that Phlegm Boy was going to be my best friend even if he didn’t know it yet. And I don’t even care if he isn’t gay like me.



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